As most of you guys know, I signed up for Niki’s #Revofkindness challenge and for the first week, the focus is on Self compassion, being kind and gentle to myself.
I would have never imagined that this journey would start out not to be a child’s play. I mean, how was I to know that being a little kinder to myself will prove to be an uphill task? Neither did I expect that it would be this uplifting. Though Harry my friend tried to warn me on time!
To be a better person, spend less time filling out your personal scorecard and more time being kind . . . to you.
That is the path I started out on in the first week of the #Revifkindness challenge. It dawned on me that I tend to berate myself often enough for all my ‘shortcomings’ and hardly praise me for my good deeds and good side. My thinking revolves more around the things I need to achieve that I have not achieved and then I make a mincemeat of my achievements.
Why? I think I feel deep down that it will make me pompous or proud, so I repress them as much as I can while feeding my mind with what I am not good at. At another level, I compare myself with others and find myself falling short. How mean can I get with myself?
“ Accept where you are, accept what you have, accept who you are ~ do what you can with all of that and let it be enough.
Another milestone is the knowledge that I am beginning to learn to say NO when I mean no instead of saying yes when I mean no. I realise that it is powerful and liberating to be more assertive.
There is a friend that gets to hear some of the discussions I have been having with myself in my head these days. He was surprised that I could actually say those things about myself but he understands that I am going through a tough time presently so tries to push me back to my usual optimistic self. I am more grateful than he realises.
I deviate. But it goes to show how critical and mean I have become towards me.
I should reward myself more often and what better time to do that than on my birthday which is just four days away!
So this challenge has helped me see things more clearly. I now know it is a rough road to my destination but not an impossible feat. THANK YOU to Niki for this challenge.
It goes on…