Finding Her Voice; Finding happiness.

Tag Archives: child molestation

I don’t know about anywhere else, but the rate at which men are sexually molesting minors in Nigeria is alarming. It makes me wonder…

Could it be that there’s something suddenly spectacular about the little children’s private parts? Is there a scarcity of prostitutes? Maybe all the matured and willing ladies are now lesbians? I don’t understand it.

It has been a year of child molestation, from one gory incident to the other till the climax with the #JusticeForOchanya incident.

Ochanya’s father and son rapists

After the death of the little Ochanya as a result of protracted and consistent rape by father and son, the floodgates of child molestation were flung wide open.

From Benue state to Bayelsa state, from Lagos to Abuja, various cases of children being raped by teachers, neighbours and fathers abound, paedophiles everywhere.

My Issue with Caregivers

In the face of this appalling situation, some adults choose to live in a fool’s paradise while some remain careless and carefree. You read comments like ‘oh I know that guy and he is very responsible and religious’. As if that means anything these days.

Since I began my personal sensitization of parents and caregivers, it has dawned on me that lots of adults are naive and blind. I was trying to enlighten a mother of a sweet 2 year old girl, highliting it with instances of recent rape cases of minors, some younger than her daughter. Her response was that God will not allow any rapist to touch her daughter. Well, maybe God is too idle that He’d come down toclean the child’s nose on behalf of the mum. Or the molested kids are God’s arch enemies. What is wrong with her being more vigilant, or more enlightening?

What we fail to understand is that rapists are everywhere and can come in different facades, colors, status and profession. A pastor can be a rapist. A married man can be a rapist. The recent case in Bayelsa state is of a man with two wives and what my friend termed a ‘battalion of concubines’. Yet he was not satisfied.

Rapists are not necessarily vulgar, ugly momsters. They can actually be handsome, sweet, quiet and ‘responsible’. They can reside within your home, inside the school or in your place of worship.

The key is getting yourself enlightened so you can enlighten and protect your younger ones. There’s nothing wrong in teaching them about sex and rape, nothing wrong with equipping them to fight and speak up.

This is a case where prevention is definitely better than cure.

#SayNoToRape

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Teachers taking over from ‘uncles’ in the child molestation bill board chart?

There is this incident that happened in a private school in Lagos state recently which my friend who teaches in the school narrated to me.
A ten year old pupil of the school who recently relocated from the UK to Lagos with her parents reported to her parents that one of her teachers was molesting her sexually. The parents promptly took it up with the school authorities.

When the accused teacher got wind of it, he claimed innocence, and took offense that his name was being tarnished and quit coming to school even before the matter could be discussed by all the parties involved.

The school authority for reasons known only to them, sacked another teacher who was purportedly innocent but recalled the accused.
The little girl who was molested became agitated and her class teacher on seeing the girl’s distress called her aside and asked her what was disturbing her. She told the teacher that her molester was still around the school while the other teacher who had always been nice to her had stopped coming to school.
The teacher called the head teacher of the school and together they recorded the girl’s confession of what transpired which they made available to the school head.
The accused teacher was thus relieved of his duties with an apology and that was the end of it.

Recently there was a media report of same incident, another school, another teacher, different set of students, same state, same reaction from the school authority.

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In both cases, the accused teachers were not apprehended, they were left to continue preying on little girls. Both schools, albeit many others, prefer exposing more kids to these molesters in order to protect their name. I bet you that the accused teachers in both cases have found employment in other schools and what are they likely to continue doing? 

I know competition is stiff thus the need to keep everything hush lest these schools lose their students and pupils due to scandal. Yet if it had happened to the proprietor’s daughter, will he take same action? Would he not have handed the teacher over to the appropriate authorities for befitting punishment?

It pains me because many more girls will be forced to endure same fate which could have been avoided. If the matter was further investigated, I bet you some other girls from those schools would have come out to testify to having been molested by same teachers.

One thing I take away from these incidents is that parents have a great role to play in protecting their little ones. The ten year old girl who relocated newly from the UK was obviously better equipped to handle molestation than some of her peers who grew up in Nigeria. She was not the first nor will she be the last, but she had enough guts to tell her parents even though the teacher must have warned her otherwise. What did her parents do that the other parents were not doing?

I think communication is the first key. The girl was free enough to tell her parents what she was passing through. Can my children freely come up to me and share their pains with me? Am I physically and emotionally available to them always?

Secondly, knowledge is power. If you are not informed, then you become deformed physically or mentally. I believe her parents empowered her with the right information to fight such situations. Some parents still would not talk about sex and molestation to their kids when we know that the wrong information abound everywhere, even under our very noses.

Also, this brave girl was raised to have her own voice. Obviously, she was not raised to believe that she is a voiceless second hand citizen who should shut up and swallow whatever is shoved down her guts. She was raised to stand up for her right from a tender age. Imagine if she had remained silent like the others.

We cannot always be around to protect our children from all the dangers of this world, but we can empower them early enough to be able to fight for themselves.

Happy weekend y’all!

AlluringEby


‘POLICEMAN ACCUSED OF RAPING FOUR-YEAR-OLD GIRL…’
Now, what, my people are your take on the above headline as reported in Thisday newspaper of 27 March 2014? That a police officer attached to the Special Task Force (STF) on Jos crisis is being accused of raping a minor! Can you honestly imagine that scenario, a full grown man, police officer at that, lures a little girl as young as four, four! For crying aloud, to a tent, an uncompleted building, a bush, or some such place and forcefully has sexual intercourse with her? Can you imagine someone subjecting your four-year-old daughter, niece, sister, neighbor, to such barbaric act? I shudder to think of it, to think of the pain the little one will be experiencing and the pervert gagging her one way or the other, aaarrrggghhhhh! I simply cannot imagine it nor claim to understand such action. A little girl, who probably has not learnt to speak properly, still so innocent, so trusting, so adorable and happy, chattering away at everything and nothing. Then some pervert walks up to her, plays with her and tells her to come with him to this place to take biscuits or see her mum or whatever it is they say to persuade them to follow them. Gosh! Is such a man sane?

Our children, our pride and joy

ur children, our pride and joy


Please people help me understand it. Why would a full-grown man, a police officer in this case, force himself on an innocent child? Why would he want to do that, for lack of matured and willing women (whom statistics show to even outnumber men), or that it is more pleasurable with babies, or he derives some pervert joy in torturing and inflicting pain and damage (physical and psychological) on one so tender? Can anyone explain this desire to hurt kids to me because it baffles me? When they rape girls and women who are of age, they attribute it to the women’s indecent dressing, fine! To what do we attribute this barbarism to kids, immodest dressing too?

You’d think that the laws and its enforcement agents will quickly swing into action to see justice carried out in rape cases, especially when minors are involved, well, think again. Is it not one of them, (which is one out of many o, reported and unreported), that is the culprit in this case? It takes too long to get justice in sexual molestation cases – if at all, due to bureaucracy, stringent laws that demands evidence and witnesses, and of course, the lackadaisical attitude of some of these officers of the law. Owing to this, many of these cases go unreported and the culprits continue to perpetuate evil in the society.

Therefore, I am of the opinion that the best way to take better care of our kids and protect them against these molesters is to teach and warn our kids and loved ones in strong terms since we cannot be with them 24/7. The onus lies on us their elders to protect our dear ones. Without going into details, we can warn them against ‘unfriendly friends’, uncles and neighbours, because more often than not, it is the people that we trust that take advantage of our trust and dishonor the little ones. Teach them to beware of suspicious actions and attitudes from any male, no matter who they are. Most of all, let us be mindful of these precious ones, their whereabouts, who they relate with, what they do and all that, because there is only that much that they can do for themselves. As that popular advertisement echoes, ‘if we don’t take care of them, who will?
Be wise, be loving, be careful, trust less.



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