Finding Her Voice; Finding happiness.

Category Archives: EDUCATION

This is the second day of the three day quote challenge. Thanks to Spiritual Journey for this exciting opportunity.

Today’s quotes:


I wonder if I have ever been that kind of friend to anyone. *sighs.



And the clincher-


I need to be reminding myself of this as often as I breath!

Today’s nominees are –
365 Days A lens LG and
Rebirth of Lisa

I hope my nominees for today will have a go at this and have fun. The rules are simple, post one or three
quotes per day for three days and choose three different bloggers per day.



My blogger friend of Spiritual Journey nominated me for this three-day quote challenge. I am grateful for this opportunity to partake of this challenge.

The rules are quite simple, post one or three quotes per day for three days and choose three different bloggers per day.

So here we go…


This is one of my favourite quotes of all times. Forgive me if I use it a lot, it inspires me.

I came across this second one recently and would love to share it with us.


The final one for today.


Not sure of the source though.

My nominees for today are:
Nancy E. Head and

May you have fun while at it.




Most times, when I write on this blog, I am talking to me first, before anybody else. I need to hear these things more than you or anybody else, so when I write them out they are alive in my brain, they become more real and it is easier to remember that way.

So I recently listened to the American ‘smiling Preacher’, Joel Osteen, speaking about trying to be happy where you are while waiting for the next step, for a better tomorrow and I felt like he was talking to me. After all, when you think of it, most of our lives is spent waiting – you wait to walk, talk, go to school, get a job, marry, bear children, one phase at a time. Indeed, why not be happy while waiting since half out time is spent waiting?

Are you seeing the implications? If you are not happy while waiting, it means that half the time, you are sad, angry and depressed. We worry about this and that, there is always something that is not the way we would like it to be, things are never perfect so we spend our lives in an endless stream of worry and anxiety. I do not suggest that you cease hustling to attain your goals and make your dreams come true, no, it simply means relishing what you have, appreciating where you are, while happily pursuing your dreams and aspirations.

The funny thing is that once we get that which we seek at a particular point, we move right on to the next, forgetting to pause and appreciate our conquest. Where is the joy in that? We start immediately to pursue another, to worry and fret when it does not come as wished. We have no time to enjoy our lives, to enjoy the ‘little’ we have while hustling and waiting for the next.

Meanwhile, that which we look down on as ‘little’, to another person, might seem gigantic. That low paying job that you murmur and complain about, you know it is possible that there are hundreds of others around you that would kill for that same job? You complain to your friends about how lame and ugly and slow your spouse is while your friends wish they could have that same person you complain about – irony of life.

I have come to the conclusion that most often than not, our happiness is in our hands, that our attitude is the problem, not the situation itself.

Patience is not just waiting, it is the ability to be happy while waiting.

Happy new week dearies!

What you gonna do about the time ticking away, ticking fast towards the shores of your late thirties and forties or even fifties, ticking towards that dreaded period of menopause while you are still single and seriously searching? You look around you and most of your mates are mothers and some are even getting on to grand-motherhood, then you look at yourself, at forty and still no husband! Tragic, aint it?

When you think on it, really think on it as you often do, when you are all alone with your thoughts, late at night, you wonder, for the thousandth time why it had to be you. Yea, you compare yourself to Tola, Tola who used to be the mean bitch in school, or Nancy who was as ugly as the devil himself way back {forget that money and the joy of marriage has transformed her now}, or is it the stupid Sandra who was busy hopping from one man to another with too many abortions to her credit? Look at them all, all happily married and with kids too. You ask God {that is if you still believe in Him}, God, why me of all people? If God should bless people with good husband and children, you ought to be top on the list because whatever a man desireth, you possess – beauty, class, intelligence, poise, courage, good manners, godliness, even wealth – you are equal to the task. So how come you are still here watching your fertile time slipping away into the infertile?



Friends brag about their hubbies and children and bombard your social media newsfeed with pictures and sweet words of their cute families. As if that is not enough torment, your family, especially your mother is always on your case, harassing you to go find your own husband and leave their home for them, after all, all your younger sisters are happily married. Yet, you still have no man to call yours.
You have helped plan and attended innumerable weddings of colleagues and neighbours that you might as well become a professional wedding planner. Your wardrobe is filled with uncountable array of aso ebis that you wore to friends’ weddings. Same goes for child dedication. Tick tock, tick tock…

They used to sneer at you behind your back, but now, they do it to your face and dare you to do your worst. Small children insult you as they like and their parents watch and cheer them on. The gossip mill has it that you are single at fifty because you are a retired prostitute, so when you have little issues with them, they call you ashawo. And so, you continue to shed tears in the dark wondering when and if ever you will ever one day be called ‘my darling wife’ not talk of becoming some cute kids’ mummy.

The only prayer houses that you have not visited are the ones that are still in the pipeline. Every powerful man of God around town knows you on first name basis. These days, you have even graduated to the ‘corporate native doctors’, the dibias, the babalawos. You have employed all the strategies they suggested, bought rings, wedding gowns, chosen your colours and bridal train and maid of honour. Yet, your nights are spent alone with just you and your tears of frustration for company.
You have allowed yourself be used and dumped by every Tom, Dick and Harry in your bid to get them to love you enough to want to pop that all important question – nothing. You trimmed down in weight, toned up in colour (almost as fair as the Europeans), ‘tushed up’ in class and all – no husband and time is ticking by.
What then is left for you to do that you have not done? Nobody understands. None is left to encourage or console you. You are on your own. So what do you do when the chips are all down, when the tide is flowing against you, when you have been pushed to the world and have nowhere else to go?

I do not have the answers. I do not know what else you should do or where else to go. I have no idea where the solution lies. All I know is that you need to look inward and find it yourself, find the peace which the world cannot give. Oh and that reminds me, I know only one way out – seek ye first the kingdom of God… There is no guarantee that the long awaited husband will materialize immediately, but you will have peace, you will find joy flowing like a river and you will find yourself and realize that the fulfillment of your purpose in life is not dependent on a husband despite what our African culture hammers into our brains. Your happiness does not lie in any man’s pocket; it is in your own pocket.

There comes a time when you need to let go and let God.