A posthumous Happy birthday to Michael Jackson who would have been 57 yesterday the 29th day of August. The heading of this post is borrowed from one of his numerous hit songs, Man in The Mirror.

We all want to see some changes in different aspects of our world but who are we really waiting for to cause those changes we desire?


Most guys you discuss rape and sexual assault with will most likely condemn the act, albeit in different tones. So I then wonder who those guys are that commit the rapes we witness and hear of.

A friend of mine on facebook sent me a message about this new girl friend he got. You know, the beautiful, nice, naive and religious type. He has, according to him, developed feelings for her which he wants to portray to her via sex. Okay. But the young lady has refused adamantly and my friend is getting frustrated. He told me that he would force her the next time she came around. I was like, ‘You mean you want to rape her?’ And he said ‘Maybe’. And he asked me what he was supposed to do when she is around, just sit and stare at her?

Guys, please, I’d like to know if this is what this is all about.

I asked about ten guys in my Whatsapp contacts their views on a guy forcing a female friend into having sex with him. I wish I can print all their responses here. The good news is that five of them emphatically agreed that it is wrong, however, three think it depends on a lot of factors and would not outrightly call it rape, probably sexual assault or something. Now two told me that some ladies do not know how to say ‘sex me up’. Or some that want it but like to form. These group of ladies should be forced into submission because some of them even prefer it that way. Hmmmmm…

Man in the mirror. Sometimes when we talk of rapists, we think they look like monsters but most times they are friends, neighbours, relations which makes it harder for the victims to speak up. Many women have been sexually assaulted, molested or outrightly raped at one time or the other by guys they took as good friends. So guys, why would this change we preach not begin with you personally?

If you can force someone who trusted you to have sex with you, how are you any different from the rapist that rapes strangers?

Happy Sunday dearies!