It comes naturally to us, to react certain ways to certain actions and happenings, smile when good things happen, cry or frown when they don’t. Sometimes, we react without even giving it any thought, the smile just comes, sometimes so wide and uninhibited that you can’t withhold or hide it even if you want to. In some other cases, we lash out in anger even before we have time to consider our actions and their consequences. For some though, their reactions can be delayed which often gives room to ponder and maybe reconsider before acting. How does this second group do it? How are they able to wait and ponder before they react? Wouldn’t it be nicer to count to hundred before I act or respond?

In life, we are bound to win some and loose some, no matter how good we are, especially in our relationships. Realizing that we cannot always be compatible with everyone helps us to manage our relationships better and move on when it doesn’t work out, without any hard feelings. The key however is to know when to hold on and when to let go. We often get stuck in a relationship we are no longer comfortable with and refuse to move on for fear of the unknown. Some friends will advise you that the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know, how trite. So you stay put, enduring all the insults, assaults, heart breaks, because you are scared of charting new courses, you’d rather be with the devil you know than go for the angel out there that can bring sunshine in your life. Fear of the unknown. But I believe it is better to take the good gathered from a situation/relationship and bow out with smiles while the ovation is still loud.

Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened! Some people in their entire life time never experienced true love. They have waited for it, desired and longed for it, yet all they encounter are heart breaks from wolves in sheep clothing. They are willing to walk the risk-ridden road of love, heartbreaks and all over and over again. Then why do you put your life at a standstill because you loved and lost? Come to think of it, you didn’t actually lose, you experienced a great moment in time, so focus less on the negative and more on the positive and smile because it happened. Trust me, if you get to have a frank chat with you, you will realize that there are many beautiful and memorable memories from that relationship, no matter how ugly some of the experiences were or how badly it turned out. Some of these experiences are invaluable and cannot be got otherwise. Just smile and be happy for the opportunity.

I recently had the kind of experience that some might term terrible and mind you, when I was in the throes of it, I felt so too. I fell in love with the most wonderful, loving, and understanding man I ever met. In fact, in all my prayers and expectations, I never dreamt of such a man, never knew such man even existed and I mean every word of it, no exaggerations. I found him and I was like ‘Waoh! No wonder I’m still single’. He was everything I ever wanted and much more. What then is the problem, I bet you are wondering. We had one irreconcilable difference which I cannot go into here but there was just no way around it. We had no choice than to part while we could still be friends, while we could still walk away. That was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make in my life and I never want to be faced with that kind of situation EVER again, having to give up a treasure that I may not be able to  find again. It felt like wrenching out a part of my heart, yet, what could I do?  Why am I telling this tale now? Something good can come out of a perceived terrible situation. He made me a better person in so short a time and I ended up with the best friend a girl could ask for. Moreover, I look back on the times we shared and I smile and thank God for that wonderful opportunity to meet an unforgettable individual who had a great impact on my life.

Some of us have been in worse situations and have come out tops while some came out feeling like they have been to hell and back. It is all in our attitude. The way we react to situations determines what we take out of it. You may decide to see the good in it or dwell in the bad and get stuck feeling all bitter and negative. Do not cry so much as to let your tears block out the sunlight because as they say, ‘if you cry because you missed the moon, tears won’t allow you see the sun’. A fact of life that we cannot run away from is that good exists alongside evil, but how you choose to see it is what makes all the difference. Is it better to dwell on the negative, on what might have been or to dwell on the positive and forge ahead, taking the good memories along? The latter if you ask me.

Easier said than done, right, but not impossible to achieve. So why not give it a shot, start practicing and little by little, we can change the way we look at things and situations and thus come to understand why the good book said that ‘in everything, we should give thanks to God’. There is always a reason to be thankful! Be  happy!